In March of 2012 I had an Epiphany. With everything that had gone on in my life it hit me, one day, that God had always taken care of us. He was always there for me. The Holy Spirit began to really burn…and I know why. I immediately understood what loving God with all my heart and soul meant. As Jesus commanded in Matthew 22: 37-40 He said to him “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments.” It sounded good before my epiphany, but now I really got it. I really do pray for my enemies and my judgement days are completely gone. Even the tiniest transgression I consider a sin.
Later that year in December, while delivering a meal, a gentleman approached the car and asked me to roll down the window. He had backed out of the parking space and then pulled right back in. I had no idea why he wanted me to roll down my window. He told me that Jesus told him to tell me that “everything is going to be alright.” Oh, my God, did I just really hear that? It was and still is the ultimate gift in my life. Imagine tears in the eyes. No matter what the trials have been for me since then, no matter what the world has thrown at me, I now know that everything is going to be all right. I haven’t had one ounce of fear, anxiety or worry. Sure, I get frustrated with myself sometimes because I have set the bar so high. I want to be better and better every day. I really do watch myself.
I once heard a homily that contemplative prayer is continuously thinking of God. In fact, the priest said that thinking of God every day is one of the strongest prayers that can be offered. I’m glad I heard that because it’s how I pray.
In Mark 8:29 Jesus asked Peter who he thought Jesus was. I often wonder who people think I am. For that matter, I wonder who I think I am. I want to be the person to where people see the Jesus in me. Not be Jesus, but have the heart of Jesus.
I now know that the only thing that matters is God. Knowing that has made me a much better person. I’ve had people turn away from me because, during discussions, they don’t want to hear the truth about God’s intentions and how to live their lives. I don’t preach and I don’t judge. But I won’t back down either from defending His plan.
I think about the gift certificates from that wonderful family on Christmas, the gentleman with cancer, sleeping with the homeless and especially my epiphany. I know that the Holy Spirit is burning in my soul.
In John 3:17 it says that God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him.
That verse and Jesus’ message to me on that December morning, 2012, gives me confidence every day that everything is good and everything is going to be all right.