I’ve got a guilty conscience. I sometimes look back at my past wishing I hadn’t ‘t done one thing or another. After confessing those sins, I should only be looking forward, not backward.
Someone once said that when we get to heaven God shows a video of our lives. My first reaction was, “huh oh.” Of course that is an allegory but what isn’t an allegory is that God does not remember confessed sins. Nor should I.
I look at it this way. If look into my past at confessed sins then I’m telling Jesus that I don’t completely have faith and trust in Him. For me, that is a sin in itself.
The following is small part of a diary kept by St. Faustina upon hearing Jesus’ revelation of confession:
Today the Lord said to me, Daughter, when you go to confession, to this fountain of My mercy, the Blood and Water which came forth from My Heart always flows down upon your soul and ennobles it. Every time you go to confession, immerse yourself in My mercy, with great trust, so that I may pour the bounty of My grace upon your soul. When you approach the confessional, know this, that I Myself am waiting there for you. I am only hidden by the priest, but I myself act in your soul. Here the misery of the soul meets the God of mercy. Tell souls that from this fount of mercy souls draw graces solely with the vessel of trust. If their trust is great, there is no limit to My generosity. The torrents of grace inundate humble souls. The proud remain always in poverty and misery, because My grace turns away from them to humble souls.
The person of the priest is, for Me, only a screen. Never analyse what sort of a priest it is that I am making use of; open your soul in confession as you would to Me, and I will fill it with My light.
This is a lesson that I teach myself over and over again.